It came as a shock to me, that I have bipolar disorder. At the time where my doctor pinpointed my manic stage, was exactly when I felt like I was getting better because I could then do things without worrying too much, and I was more confident than ever about my abilities.
Maybe that’s when it’s the most worrying for everyone involved, because I felt invincible. I felt like I was doing things that I wanted to do most, saying things I meant 100% and just confident in everything I did.
But then there were signs. I was constantly working, and never stopped. I never felt tired and didn’t sleep very much. I was doing things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done have I not been in the manic stage, e.g. talking to strangers, saying a bit too much. I had unlimited energy. I used a lot of energy during the day but I couldn’t sleep properly. I woke up early and everyday it seemed that I was just getting better, from depression.
It is true, I was getting better from depression, because the opposite of depression, was mania. But perhaps I was becoming too well that it started to concern those around me.
It took a toll on my body. I was physically shaking. Then came the crash or the downside of this, depression. It is as if I’m two different persons. I didn’t want to leave the house or see anyone or do anything. Polar opposite of what I was like before. Luckily for me, mine was controlled and that I am feeling a lot better now. Hopefully normal life resumes soon.