Personal: Living with Bipolar

It came as a shock to me, that I have bipolar disorder. At the time where my doctor pinpointed my manic stage, was exactly when I felt like I was getting better because I could then do things without worrying too much, and I was more confident than ever about my abilities. 

Maybe that’s when it’s the most worrying for everyone involved, because I felt invincible. I felt like I was doing things that I wanted to do most, saying things I meant 100% and just confident in everything I did.

But then there were signs. I was constantly working, and never stopped. I never felt tired and didn’t sleep very much. I was doing things that I wouldn’t have otherwise done have I not been in the manic stage, e.g. talking to strangers, saying a bit too much. I had unlimited energy. I used a lot of energy during the day but I couldn’t sleep properly. I woke up early and everyday it seemed that I was just getting better, from depression.

It is true, I was getting better from depression, because the opposite of depression, was mania. But perhaps I was becoming too well that it started to concern those around me. 

It took a toll on my body. I was physically shaking. Then came the crash or the downside of this, depression. It is as if I’m two different persons. I didn’t want to leave the house or see anyone or do anything. Polar opposite of what I was like before. Luckily for me, mine was controlled and that I am feeling a lot better now. Hopefully normal life resumes soon.

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4 thoughts on “Personal: Living with Bipolar

  1. Sounds normal to me, everyone has there ups and downs. I call it living. sometimes we push our bodies a lot and then we crash and want to recharge our battery’s. As long as you make the time to stay healthy and take care of yourself I think working hard is better then depression. There will always be days you want to be alone, theres nothing wrong with being outgoing and talking to strangers one day and then the next keeping to yourself. However that is only my point of view. I am no doctor to tell you the textbook description of what is right and what is wrong. I just believe there is no such thing as normal in a diverse world.

  2. Mayling, we had no idea of your struggles! Be assured you have our support. For those who think clinical depression and bipolar disorder is just a “normal” up and down in life, I suggest you seriously go and get educated about the topic before commenting!!
    Mayling, your chocolates and little delights look amazing. We are so glad you’ve found a passion. Go well and know you are in our thoughts. – Your big cousin Min leong.

  3. Pingback: Happy 1st Birthday to Petite Patissiere! | Petite Pâtissière

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