The quote in the title may seem blatantly obvious to you about how life works, but at a point in 2014, this was my mindset and it really affected me negatively. I felt so uneasy and paranoid that I just couldn’t live properly. In one of my sessions with my psychiatrist back then, I shared it with her and she said to me, “yes, May Ling, that is true”, but there are different ways to look at that phrase.
Instead of being worked up by the endless possibilities that life can present you at any time, instead of trying to take “you only live once” the wrong way (for the lack of a better word) and go “all out” the wrong way, I have learned to appreciate everything that is before me. It is pointless to dwell on what happened in the past and what might happen in the future.
It is, of course, easier said than done. Every now and then, I still feel uneasy about the past and the “what if’s” based on my imagination. But now, I am more able to quickly snap out of it and realise that, my thoughts are just thoughts, and that I can change the way I feel and think about things by just altering my perspective.
In saying that, I don’t actually mean that you should not reflect on your past or that you should not plan for your future. What I am trying to say is that there is only so much in life that is within our control. There are so many external factors which affect how the past played out and what the future holds that really, the only thing you can actively control are the internal factors – your thoughts.
Face your past but don’t blame yourself. Embrace the future but don’t think about it excessively. Live each day as it comes but do plan for your future as a rough guide, because we all know it will go off track here and there. Make a decision, stick with it until you feel that it is no longer going in the direction you want it to – then at that point, make another decision.
That is how I have been living for a few months now and it has helped me become more positive. The way I live may change or it may not, but the uncertainty doesn’t bother me as much anymore because I know that whatever happens, I will have me, and I will have all of you standing by me.
Happy new year, everyone! May 2016 be an even better year for all of you.